Sir Mix-A-Lot likes big butts. This, we know to be the truth.

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Here’s the deal, though: you can be a T man, or an A man. You can’t be both, Sir Mix-A-Lot. That’s why it rang false, or pandering, or brutalizing his legacy, when in 1994, as the follow-up to ”Baby Got Back” and Mac Daddy, Sir Mix-A-Lot released ”Put Em on the Glass,” a song inconceivably and unconscionably composed in praise of boobs.

Decidedly more street and crude, ”Put Em on the Glass” lacks all of the goofy humor of the song and asstastic video for the #1 hit ”Baby Got Back.” We just weren’t interested—or simply refused to believe it—when with this song, Sir Mix-A-Lot claimed to be more than just an ass man. Come on, Sir-Mix-A-Lot, of course you’re just an ass-man. You’re the assman. You’re the chief boot knocka! I’m pretty sure that’s what he was knighted for, his devotion to the defense of the assery of the Queen’s realm.

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”Put Em on the Glass” charted nowhere—not the Hot 100, not the R&B chart, not the dance chart, not nothing.

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