Sir Mix-A-Lot likes big butts. This, we know to be the truth.

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Here’s the deal, though: you can be a T man, or an A man. You can’t be both, Sir Mix-A-Lot. That’s why it rang false, or pandering, or brutalizing his legacy, when in 1994, as the follow-up to “Baby Got Back” and Mac Daddy, Sir Mix-A-Lot released “Put ‘Em on the Glass,” a song inconceivably and unconscionably composed in praise of boobs.

Decidedly more street and crude, “Put ‘Em on the Glass” lacks all of the goofy humor of the song and asstastic video for the #1 hit “Baby Got Back.” We just weren’t interested—or simply refused to believe it—when with this song, Sir Mix-A-Lot claimed to be more than just an ass man. Come on, Sir-Mix-A-Lot, of course you’re just an ass-man. You’re the assman. You’re the chief boot knocka! I’m pretty sure that’s what he was knighted for, his devotion to the defense of the assery of the Queen’s realm.

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“Put ‘Em on the Glass” charted nowhere—not the Hot 100, not the R&B chart, not the dance chart, not nothing.

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