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Q: What was Brenda and Dylan’s break up song from 90210?
A: “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M.
Q: What the hell does that have to do with breaking up?
A: Clearly, if you have to ask, you don’t watch 90210.
Q: Wait. It’s the same person doing the Q & A, so why are you getting all snippy with me?
A: I don’t have to answer you.
Q. You don’t? Why not? I mean you’re “A” — which means “Answer.” So answer me A-hole!
A: Here’s an answer: we’re breaking up.
Q: Fine. I don’t really need you … do I?
A: [Silence]
Q: Why won’t you talk to me?
A: [Humming]
Q: A-hole? I mean Answer?
A: What?
Q: Don’t you love me?
A: Let’s look at the Magic 8 Ball for an answer since you have a problem calling me by my proper name. Hmm…It says “Ask again later.”
Breaking up is hard to do, isn’t it? But once you’ve broken up, the song that best reflects your feelings might be something a little abstruse like “Losing My Religion,” or maybe it’s something oh-so-obvious like “Love Stinks.” Whatever the case, here are six songs that say pretty much the same thing in different ways: “It’s over.”
Sometimes you gotta be blunt and just end it. You know, rip it off like a Band-Aid. But sometimes even though you’ve broken up, someone in the relationship forgot to turn off their inner stalker switch and, well, you get songs like this … and a restraining order.
David Medsker’s new feature, “Mope Like Me” should have picture of himself as Robert Smith because really Smith is the King of Mope. Sting may be the King of Pain, Michael Jackson like to call himself the King of Pop, and Elvis is The King of Rock-n-Roll, but since we’re trying to round out the royal family of emotions, sensations, and self-proclaimed titles, we might as well give Robert Smith a crown of thorns to go with all that moping –which he can do quite beautifully.
Man, she was hot in the ’80s!
Oh Sting, why would anyone want to break up with you? I mean, you’re really into yourself, that whole tantric yoga-eight-hour-sex thing is a real turn on to women, and without Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers songs like “Synchronicity I” (and “II” for that matter) would sound like a Dan Fogelberg ballad. So, I ask again: why would anyone want to break up with you?
Is cheating the number one cause for a break-up? Just typing that sentence makes me feel like I’m Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Well, according to the website Love-Sessions, cheating or infidelity is number three. What’s number one? “[The] desire to be independent.” Hmm…I wonder if there’s a song about that?
All the mamas who profit dollas/Throw you hands up at me. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! The ladies who make the, uh, what’s a good word for money that rhymes with “ladies”?
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