We’re on Day Nine of the Mellowmas Craptacular – are you still with us? Jeff picked quite a few of the tracks for Mellowmas, but I’m proud to say I foisted yesterday’s Fogelberg upon him…and this one, too! (You’re welcome.)

Mirror Image – The Twelve Days Of Christmas (download or stream below)
From Yuletide Disco


[audio: Image – The Twelve Days Of Christmas.mp3]

Jeff: Oh Jesus.

Jason: YES!!!!

Jeff: What is this? Is this Meco?

Jason: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Disco Mellowmas, Bitch!

Jeff: Wow.

Jason: Doo doo do doo! And it goes on like this FOR ANOTHER THREE MINUTES.

Jeff: I’m stunned.

Jason: does happy dance Doo doo do doo! There’s the piano!

Jeff: Where did you find this? And can you put it back?

Jason: I can’t quite remember. I found it recently. I was looking for a supposed classic disco Christmas album. This is not that album.

Jeff: I feel like I’m watching the beginning of a CBS holiday special from 1979.

Jason: Oh, hang on, breaking it down. Break it down, Jeff!

Jeff: Breaking it down all right.

Jason: Are you boogie-ing? Feel the boogie!

Jeff: That isn’t boogie I feel. God, this song is like twelve minutes long…

Jason: So anyway, yeah, I couldn’t find the actual disco album in question, and somehow came across this one. And the worst part is that it’s not REALLY disco. It’s like imitation disco. It’s like store-brand disco. I think if it were true disco, it probably would be tolerable in a so-bad-it’s-good kind of way.

Jeff: Those horns are making me die. And that piano can go to hell.

Jason: resumes happy dance

Jeff: Flutes!


Jeff: Three bitchin’ Ludes! Two lines of coke!

Jason: One wah-wah pedal!

Jeff: And a white linen suit in a pear tree!

Jason: Clap! Clap! Clap! Are you dancing in your seat? Because I’m dancing in my seat!

Jeff: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Jason: Oh, finally, we get some true disco bass. Doo doo do doo! Hahahah! Fade out! What a fucking cop-out!

Jeff: An abrupt fadeout, too! I tell you what, though. This is better than the Fogelberg.

Jason: You think? If only we could somehow combine the two.

Jason: Acoustic Irish holiday disco. You know what the abrupt fadeout means?

Jeff: I wonder if someone had a heart attack, so they had to fade it out sooner than they’d planned.

Jason: Exactly! Either that or they just passed out.

Jeff: Dear God. A Bolivian Christmas.

Jason: God can’t help you here.

Jeff: You can eat shit for sending this to me.

Jason: I’ve never been happier than I am right now.

About the Author

Jeff Giles and Jason Hare

Two people, separate rooms Trying to hurt the other Bound together by destiny Is there nothing they won’t do? Will we never see them through?

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