Jeff: Jason! What’s black and white and has joybells?

Jason: A penguin that sat on a Christmas tree? I know that’s a lame answer, but I feel like you’ll call me a racist if I answer with anything else.

Jeff: You’re absolutely right, it was a trick question. I was talking about Peter Kent!

Jason: I don’t feel like you’ve ever asked me a question that wasn’t a trick question. Who the hell is Peter Kent?

Jeff: I don’t know, but this is what he was up to in 1980:

In 2014, he has “Joybells.”

Jason: Hang on. I’m busy being mesmerized by these mirrors. Are his pants pink?

Jeff: How many songs do you think sounded exactly like that in 1980? Peter Kent is not from this country, FYI.

Jason: He looks like the lovechild of Leo Sayer, Russell Hitchcock and Gino Vannelli.

Jeff: OH MY GOD HE TOTALLY DOES. Just wait until you see him now!

Jason: Wait, before I do. What’s with his hair?

Jeff: Remnant of electroshock therapy? I don’t know.

Jason: Is there a name for that kind of thing? My 8th grade science teacher had it too.

Jeff: All I know is that I’m seized with a desire to watch Pepe Le Pew cartoons.

Jason: I’m just seized.

Jeff: That hair thing also reminds me of the last few scenes of Poltergeist, after the mom has the hell scared out of her and she has a grey streak.

Which brings us back to “Joybells”! Oh, the joybells, how they do ring.

Jason: Ah, right. “Joybells.” Is this Peter Kent in 2014?

Jeff: I believe this song was only released a few days ago. Hot off the Mellowmas presses!

Jason: How “lucky” for us!

Jeff: Ba ba bo bo bo ba bo bum ba bo

Joy to the world, Jason!

Jason: Those vocals are STRAIGHT out of a synthesizer. I have that sound on my Kurzweil.

Jeff: How about the rest of the backing track? That might be on your Kurzweil too.

Jason: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? At first I was just confused as to what was going on. But now…well, now I guess I’m REALLY confused.

Jeff: *leprechaun dance*

Day by day, step by step, we understand love is the key to save our world, Jason!

But the spirit of Christmas will touch EVERYONE

I think he’s harmonizing with the white stripe in his hair right here.

Jason: Can you hear the…the what? Oh, the joybells are ringing. That’s what he’s saying.

Jeff: Christmas time is heeeeeeeeeeeere

Jason: Is this “the breakdown”?

Jeff: I love how he pronounces “joybells.” I love it so much. It’s almost as wonderful as this Northern European gospel section.

Goddammit, Jason, this is Mellowmas magic.

Jason: Yeah, makes the track for me.


Jason: You know why he faded it out, right? He couldn’t find the “stop” button on his Casio.

Jeff: I wonder how hard it would be for you to record a cover.

Jason: It’s hard for me to do anything these days. You’ve heard me whine. But Terje could do it in about 30 minutes.

And no, Terje, you do NOT have to do this.

Jeff: Pretty sure he’s already done it in the time it took you to tell him not to.

Jason: Although if you’d like to dye a part of your hair white, we’re on board.
Do you think his Christmas tree has a white streak as well?

Jeff: *cackle*

Jason: And, like, his cats? Because you know he has multiple cats.

Jeff: I’m picturing the cover photo, only with a lot of cats around Peter Kent, and I’m kind of losing my shit here.

Jason: I also love the font and font color choices on the cover.

Jeff: “Choices”

Jason: That green is the color equivalent of him pronouncing “joybells.”

Jeff: Hold on, I have to wipe off my monitor.


Jason: Joeybaells

Jeff: Whoo. *wipes tear from eye* Peter Kent, Peter Kent.

Jason: We owe you one, Peter Kent.

Jeff: Someday we’ll repay you, sir. It may or may not be with a cover of this song lovingly recorded by Jason. On his Kurzweil.

Jason: With a white streak right down the front of my hair.

Jeff: YES

About the Author

Jeff Giles and Jason Hare

Two people, separate rooms Trying to hurt the other Bound together by destiny Is there nothing they won’t do? Will we never see them through?

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