Posts Tagged ‘Lionel Richie’

Bottom Feeders: The Ass End of the ’80s, Part 74

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See, here’s what I like about writing this column. Some weeks I give you a song you haven’t heard or a factoid about a band that you didn’t know. Other weeks you guys give me information I don’t know and turn me on to music that’s missing from my life. Of course that happened last week with the Replacements chatter in the comments.

So far I’ve been able to get to two of their albums. I know you guys recommended I start with Tim (1985), but I haven’t been able to hit that one yet. I have, however, listened to Let It Be (’84) and Pleased to Meet Me (’87), with pleasing results.

I went with Let It Be first and thought it was decent, but it doesn’t flow very well at all. I dug “Favorite Thing” and the cover of Kiss’s “Black Diamond” the most.

Then I moved to Pleased to Meet Me, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The first three tracks — “I.O.U.,” “Alex Chilton,” and “I Don’t Know” — are killer, with the latter being my favorite of the three. Pleased certainly feels more like an album than Let It Be, and based on just those two records I can pretty much tell I’m going to like the major-label-era Replacements the most.

Either way, both records were very much worth my time, and I will listen to Tim soon, so thanks to everyone for the recommendations and for turning me on to a band I never would’ve listened to otherwise. That’s part of what this series is all about.

Here’s our third week of artists whose names begin with the letter R, as we continue to look at songs that charted no higher than #41 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the 1980s.

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The Popdose Podcast: Episode 1

This is something we’ve been talking about doing for a long time — in fact, we really thought we’d be debuting the Popdose Podcast over a year ago. It wasn’t until we were finally able to trick our friend Dave Lifton into shuttering his long-running and wildly popular Wings for Wheels series that our plans came together — with the technical savvy necessary to edit our nonsensical jabbering into pure audio entertainment, and a strong enough personality to keep the entire podcast from dissolving into a giggling fit of mom jokes, Dave was the crucial final ingredient we were waiting for all along.

So open up your pod, baby, and let us in — and remember, this is only our debut. Even television classics like According to Jim didn’t enjoy their finest moments until they’d had a little time to hit their stride, and you have no idea what we have in store for you during the coming months. (Note: neither do we.) Like what you hear? Hate it? Drop us a line in the comments and let us know. And now, without further ado…

The Popdose Podcast, Episode 1: Donkey Eatin’ a Pony (1:09:49, 64.9 MB), featuring Jeff Giles, Jason Hare, and Dave Lifton.
You can also subscribe to the podcast’s RSS feed.

Show Notes

0:00 Intro, including digressions into the end of Guiding Light, and Jason’s ass.

5:05 Jeff Giles discusses ASCAP and BMI demanding fees for 30-second samples on iTunes, plus, how Popdose may be affected.

18:53 Dave Lifton discusses hipsters ironically nostalgic for the ’80s, which leads to digressions into Lionel Richie, J-Stache, his taint and Richard Marx sniffing it, the Michael McDonald/Grizzly Bear collaboration, Jason Lytle covering Billy Joel, Daryl Hall’s expensive house, and Smokey Robinson & George Michael singing “Careless Whisper.”

38:20 Jason Hare credits Terje Fjelde’s awesome Popdose podcast contributions, then discusses Mariah Carey appearing on Oprah and covering Foreigner. Digressions continue into Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas is You,” Journey, The Saw Lady, and Wing.

54:31 Popdose Endorsements (official title yet to be determined; offer your suggestions in the comments!): Jeff endorses fun. (song clip: “Benson Hedges”)

57:06 Popdose Endorsements: Dave endorses Robbie Fulks (song clip: “Papa Was A Steel-Headed Man”)

58:51 Popdose Endorsements: Jason endorses the Damnwells and Tragedy: An All-Metal Tribute to the Bee Gees (song clip: “Stayin’ Alive)

1:02:00 Outro: Jeff highlights his interview with Zach Curd of Desktop (song: “My Boo,” a Popdose exclusive track)

Awful/Awesome: “Neil Diamond … Hello Again”

helloneilDo you have about 45 minutes to spare? If so, you won’t want to spend it watching Neil Diamond … Hello Again, a television special that aired on CBS in 1986. (As you probably know already, we can apply the following formula here: CBS + 1986 = a world completely devoid of irony.) Our friends at Seventies Saturdays have just uploaded all five parts of this truly, truly awful/awesome special.

Part 1 “highlights”: Neil’s horrible song/music video “Headed for the Future,” which will forevermore be my answer whenever I rhetorically ask myself, “Why did Neil Diamond get a bum rap in the ’80s?” It’s all awful: the lyrics, the choreography, the Diamond. And how is it that I swear I hear Auto-Tune at 3:34? (more…)

Unsolicited Career Advice for… Michael Jackson

Seems Uncle Donnie has recently taken a shine to the King of Pop; this particular missive was near the top of the Skwatzenschitz archive.  MJ could do worse than follow some of the advice therein; then again, he could also almost assuredly do better. —RS

TO: Michael Jackson
FROM: Don Skwatzenschitz
RE: Career advice

Mike, I gotta tell ya, Mitzi and I were at this party up in the Berkshires last weekend (the weather was gorgeous, and the place we stayed had a slide that emptied out into a hot tub.  Amazing.  You should consider it sometime—the kids would love it), and the damnedest thing happened.  It was pretty quiet—you know, little hors d’oeuvres, sparkly drinks, polite conversation, and the like—until somebody had the khutspe to ask the string quartet to play “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough.” You should have seen it, Mike.  Eighty-year-old women and their grandkids, bustin’ moves all over the place—and this is without a backbeat!  It was a skirt-hikin’ good time.

Got me to thinking how perfect the timing is now for you to make a comeback.  All the legal shit is behind you by a couple years, and the memory (not to mention the attention span) of the public is notoriously short.  The kids who bought Thriller have kids of their own now, so your audience is at least two generations deep, and most of them never heard Invincible when it was out, so the stink of that one probably won’t cling to you.  Here are some things I think you should do:

  • Stay away from the following things: children, Elizabeth Taylor, Saudi princes, monkeys, hyperbaric sleep chambers, your brothers (Jermaine is jer-messed up, Mike.  Well, somebody had to tell you), boy bands, British press, 60 Minutes, the LAPD, Liza Minnelli, Lisa Marie, any giant likenesses of yourself, antique stores, and Debbie Rowe.  These things always seem to get you into trouble, Mike. (more…)

CHART ATTACK!: 11/24/84

Hey everybody!  Just think: one week from now, you’ll probably be feeling full and somewhat nauseous from all the food you’ve ingested.  I say, why wait a week?  Get that nauseous feeling right now as we tackle the Billboard Top 10 from November 24, 1984!

10.  I Just Called to Say I Love You  — Stevie Wonder Amazon iTunes
9.  Penny Lover — Lionel Richie Amazon iTunes
8.  All Through the Night — Cyndi Lauper Amazon iTunes
7.  Strut — Sheena Easton Amazon iTunes
6.  Caribbean Queen (No More Love on the Run) — Billy Ocean Amazon iTunes
5.  Better Be Good to Me — Tina Turner Amazon iTunes
4.  Out of Touch — Daryl Hall and John Oates Amazon iTunes
3.  I Feel For You — Chaka Khan Amazon iTunes
2.  Purple Rain — Prince and the Revolution Amazon iTunes
1.  Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go — Wham! Amazon iTunes

10. I Just Called to Say I Love You — Stevie Wonder

I’m sorry. I know it’s cliché, but I have to.

It’s funny ’cause it’s true! There are, sadly, a lot of people out there who think of this song when they think of Stevie Wonder, and seriously, that pains me. You know who I’m talking about. You probably work with them.

Barry asks another important question here: “Is it, in fact, unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins?” No, it’s not. Stevie Wonder may be a musical genius, but it doesn’t mean I have to love everything he’s ever released. “I Just Called to Say I Love You” is actually a well-written song. It’s poppy, it’s catchy, and the sentiment is simple, yet original. However, none of this changes the fact that this is song comes nowhere near the caliber of his work from the ’70s. And I’m still on the fence as to whether I give him credit or points off for the cha-cha-cha ending.

When I hear this song today (and I try not to), this is what I usually think about:

9. Penny Lover — Lionel Richie (download)

When you’re on fire like Lionel Richie in 1984, you can do whatever the hell you want.  You can write a song called “Penny Lover,” which is not actually about somebody who loves pennies, or even about someone who loves girls named Penny.  And you can sit back and watch your song reach the Top 10, without batting an eye.  That being said, “Penny Lover” peaked at #8 and thus became Richie’s lowest-charting solo single to date.  This doesn’t seem so bad until you realize that he co-wrote the song with his wife, Brenda, and you just know that Lionel got the shit kicked out of him for that one.  “You write a song with ‘Tam bo li de say de moi ya” and it goes to #1, but my song stalls at #8?  Go outside and find me a switch!”

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CAPTAIN VIDEO!: Lionel Richie, “Dancing on the Ceiling”

Greetings, Videots!

Apologies from all of us here on the deck of the VIDEO! Cruiser — we realize it’s been far too long since we sent a transmission back from the 1980th Dimension. Not that it’s any excuse, really, but we stumbled across the leftover Cuervo and cocaine from Toto’s “Rosanna” video shoot, and things got a little hairy around here for awhile. We’re okay now, though, and to prove it, we’ve dug up a bona fide ‘classic’ to watch with all of you.

Picture it: the year is 1986. You are Lionel Richie, and you have conquered the pop charts, both as an occasionally too-sensitive member of a tremendous funk group and a solo artist/purveyor of syrupy, impossible to forget adult contemporary ballads. You’ve followed up your successful tenure in the Commodores with a pair of best-selling solo albums. What should you do — what can you do, really — for your third act?

If you answered “find out just how stupid a Top Five single can get,” then you have our condolences, because you clearly remember today’s dried-up mound, “Dancing on the Ceiling.” Here, one of the most prolific songwriters of the early ’80s managed to pee all over the memory of a classic Fred Astaire dance routine while simultaneously rivaling “Who’s Johnny?” as the most substance-free hit of the year. With that title and these lyrics, the only way the video could have been worse is if Richie had filled it with people dressed like Meshach Taylor in Mannequin and made them jump around like idiots.

Oh. Wait. (more…)

Chartburn: 5/23/08

Chartburn Logo


Mainstream Rock: Aerosmith, “Pink” (1997)

David: Sweet Jesus. It’s that Aphex Twin album cover brought to life. Who asked for that?

The funny thing is, if a new band had sent that song and video to MTV, the answer would have been a resounding “hell to the no.” But because it’s Aerosmith, it gets power rotation. The song itself actually isn’t that bad, even if Tyler ran out of colorful sexual metaphors sometime during 1977.

Jon: I don’t know if this has been the point of Chartburn all along, but this is the first video I’ve seen lately that has sent me into full-on Beavis & Butt-head mode:

BUTT-HEAD: Uhhh … huh-huh … These guys are old …
BEAVIS: Yeah! Yeah! I think my gramps listened to these guys, heh-heh …
(And then, at the 2:02 mark …)
BEAVIS: Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!
BUTT-HEAD: Uh, huh-huh — they’re all green and blue, but they’re still pretty cool …
BEAVIS: Yeah! Yeah! … I’ve seen better.
BUTT-HEAD: Beavis, the only boobs you’ve ever seen were on your mother.
BEAVIS: Shut up! Heh-heh … well, hers were better than those.

Will: I’m pretty sure that this is the single most disturbing video I’ve ever seen, and given that it left me thinking “I will go out of my way to avoid ever seeing it again,” I can’t for the life of me imagine why Aerosmith thought it was a good idea. Brrrrrrr. I’m legitimately disturbed. I’ll be having nightmares tonight.

Ken: Could have been all right at about a minute shorter. This is a band well past its vital era. I do kind of like the choruses, which would have been musically at home on the White Album, especially the Harrison-esque chorused lead guitar.

Zack: It is definitely possible to stay too long at the fair, and that sentiment has never been illustrated more vividly than it is here, in both the audio and the video. The brilliant burlesque images that were Aerosmith’s trademark have seen far too much sun, gin, and barbiturates, and instead of being tantalizing have become just plain disturbing, like some leathery cougar that hangs out at casino bars and leans in as she asks you to light her cigarette. Anytime a songwriter resorts to using the word “very” as an adjective, it’s safe to say that he has failed miserably.

Robert: Hmm … are they talking about what I think they’re talking about? To paraphrase Tenacious D, “You’re too old to sing about poontang. No more poontang songs for you!”

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