Welcome back to Suburban Metal Dad, Popdose's resident webcomic.
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I’ll get to the cyborgs in a second, but before I do, I need to mention one last thing in regard to Wesley Snipes — in my three February posts you may have noticed that I said my lawyer/friend Dave-o and I were in Florida during his birthday week, which coincided with the first week of Snipes’s trial, January 14-18. Then last week I said we were there when the jury gave its verdict on Friday, February 1.
Allow me to explain. See, what happened was … hey, is that Wesley at the Oscars with Spike Lee?
Way to go, Wes! You used your negative trial publicity to get yourself invited to the Oscars last Sunday and remind everyone of the top-notch filmmakers you used to work with. Smart move. Now start getting into character for that James Brown biopic that Spike’s supposedly developing for you. Or go to prison. It’s your choice.
Scratch that — it isn’t your choice. But you’re famous, so you probably won’t go to prison. Then again, James Brown spent all of 1989 and 1990 in prison, but that’s because he led the police on a high-speed car chase and assaulted an officer after smoking PCP. All you did was not pay your taxes for six years, but you’ve learned your lesson, right?
I also hope you’ve learned your lesson about suing New Line Cinema for cutting you out of the decision-making process on Blade: Trinity, since one particular report from the set made it sound like you were smoking something other than cigarettes in your trailer most of the time and therefore weren’t in the best frame of mind for making decisions. But earlier this week New Line Cinema was shut down as a decision-making studio by its parent company, Time Warner, so I guess, in a small way, you won that battle. (Full disclosure: I once worked for Time Warner. That has nothing to do with anything since I was a low-level employee, but I like making myself sound important.)