I realize it’s been a long time since I did an entry on some new piece of dumb junk food, but our nation’s beloved conglomerates seem to have put a…
Junk Food
44 Articles
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Benja described it as “the movie of the year,” and I have to confess I didn’t believe him, but then I saw this: And I figure, well, if they’re making…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Dear Smokey, Whether most people remember it today or not, you are one of the greatest songwriters in the history of American music. “Tracks of My Tears”? “Shop Around”? “You’ve…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
How’s a kid supposed to eat breakfast with this staring him in the face?
Jeff Giles
3 Min Read
Some time ago, in a fit of starved desperation, I unwrapped a Slim Jimâ„¢ Chili n’ Cheese stick, and could not believe how terrible it was. I had eaten Slim…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Every week, it’s something new and exciting at the grocery store. This morning, I spied with my little eye two words I never want to see on a box of…
Jeff Giles
3 Min Read
Okay, so, originally this was going to be another GREAT CEREAL GROSS-OFF! between Malt-O-Meal’s new Blueberry Muffin Tops (“The Taste That’s Tops!”) and Kellogg’s new Limited Edition Star Wars Episode…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
So, as some of you may remember, during a recent trip to the grocery store, I discovered a terrible new development in applesauce engineering: I was too stunned to buy…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
“These are dire times, men,” said the CEO of Sunshine Foods to the members of the board. “Profits are up, sure, but what with all of our bonus packages eating…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
It’s called B(e), pronounced “B-to-the-E,” and it’s Budweiser’s latest innovation in their quest to make terrible beer. “Hey, people like Red Bull in their vodka,” say the Bud geniuses. “Why…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
At the grocery store last weekend, I noticed a pair of new, horrible-looking food products, so naturally, I had to buy them. I thought it would probably be awhile before…
Jeff Giles
3 Min Read
Ladies and gentlemen, in the BLUE corner, hailing from POST and loaded with TEN ESSENTIAL VITAMINS & MINERALS (including IRON AND ZINC FOR GROWTH), we have MARSHMALLOW MANIA PEBBLES: And…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Now, here’s what I think, and you can disagree with me if you want: You’ve got to feel just a little bit sorry for Randy Quaid. The most tempting question…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
I think this shit is hilarious: I mean, there’s pandering to a demographic, and then there’s pandering to a demographic. And this is the latter, don’t you think? I mean,…
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