November 27, 2006:
Jason: I had an idea for a mix on my blog, but I think I might need your help.
Jeff: Tell me.
Jason: A Very Mellow Christmas.
Jeff: Oh my God. That’s fucking brilliant.
Jason: Conceptually, yes. But I don’t know if I have “the goods.”
Jeff: I do. I do I do I do
Jason: Oh yeah?
Jeff: Listen, man. Here’s how you do it. I will do everything in my power to help you assemble the mellowest, goldest holiday mixtape. You leak that out however you want.
Jason: You’re awesome.
Jeff: I’d suggest maybe over two weeks..
Jeff: That’s how it works.
Jeff: Fuck yes.
Jason: You are my web guru. My blog inspiration. I must follow.
Jeff: Does Rush Limbaugh reading “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” count as Mellow Gold?
Jason: No. It does not. Don’t even.
Jeff: ‘Cause I have it.
Jason: The 12 Days Of Mellowmas.
Jeff: Yeah, see, there you go.
Jason: I think we should somehow do it together. We should do it as some joint-blog thing. Because I can see I’ve clearly got you enthused.
Jeff: You do.
And there you have it: theÂ inception of the best/worst idea weâ€™ve ever had. Tomorrow marks the start of our tenth â€” tenth! â€” year of Mellowmas, our gawd-awful holiday celebrating the worst and worst-er of Christmas music, plus Teddy Pendergrassâ€™s â€œHappy Kwanzaaâ€ and whatever â€œVergissmeinnichtâ€ was celebrating.
Consider the following. Since 2006:
- Weâ€™ve covered almost 160 songs, and sixteen of them areÂ â€œLast Christmas.â€
- Weâ€™ve either started our chats relaxed in August or panicked on November 30th. (Much more often the latter.)
- Weâ€™ve laughed until weâ€™ve cried, sometimes just cried, and spent away too much time staring at our screens, wondering what the hell is happening in our headphones.
- Weâ€™ve tortured our all-too-patient wives, who havenâ€™t yet killed us â€” most likely because the amusement from hearing us cackle has outweighed the dread from the number of times weâ€™ve said â€œyouâ€™ve gotta hear this. Just trust me.â€
- Weâ€™ve made friends and enemies, and both groups have contributed to the awful music youâ€™ve heard over the past ten years.
- Weâ€™ve pissed off artists, weâ€™ve welcomed some into our sick celebrations (shout-out to the late, great Alan Oâ€™Day!), weâ€™ve shared some with crowds in New York City, and last â€” but not least â€” weâ€™ve auditioned for Maurice Starr. I mean, what the hell is left to do after youâ€™ve auditioned for The General?
So that’s why thisÂ will be ourÂ final year runningÂ The 25 Days of Mellowmas. That’s not to sayÂ that we wonâ€™t pop back in from time to time in the future, but seriously, folks â€” our wives are consulting with divorce attorneys, and they no longer look like theyâ€™re joking.
To celebrate a decade from the depths of Mell,Â hereâ€™s what youâ€™ll find over the next 25 days:
- A bunch of new and truly awful crap!
- A collection of some of our (and your) favorites, as suggested on our Mellowmas Facebook page!
- Six â€œlostâ€ entries from 2006, originally posted onÂ jefito.comÂ before the site went kaput, reconstructed from our Gmail chats!
We hope you enjoy what is destined to be a poop-filled horse ride into the sunset. It starts tomorrow!