You mean, they actually want a mouse with their pizza?
Junk Food
44 Articles
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Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
The Great Gross-Off is probably my oldest Web series, and also my most infrequent, so I won’t blame any of you for not remembering that when I started it —…
Robin Monica Alexander
3 Min Read
Twinkie dipped in chocolate, or dessert of the gods? In her latest Random Play, Robin Monica Alexander sings the praises of the Chocodile.
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
If you know anything about dessert, you know cupcakes are the hottest thing around, and have been for years. Wherever you look, cupcakes are huge — often literally, what with…
Matt Wardlaw
1 Min Read
In his solo hit “Heart of the Matter,” Don Henley famously sang that “if you keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside.” While I’m all for forgiveness where…
Matt Wardlaw
1 Min Read
Ever looked at a burrito and thought, “That could use some potatoes”? Taco Bell is one step ahead of you — and Matt Wardlaw has braved its starchy depths.
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
It’s long been claimed as the official dessert of Boston, but it was created by a French chef — so even if you’ve never actually eaten one, you know the…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Dear Everyone Who Ever Said I’d Never Amount to Anything: Suck it. Do you see what I have here? You do? Let me spell it out for you anyway: I…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Ah, Skittles. Remember that good old-fashioned rainbow of fruit flavors? Remember when it just came in that friendly red package, and you could eat a full three-quarters of the bag…
Will Harris
1 Min Read
When I saw that our beloved leader, Mr. Giles, had revived this feature, my heart leapt with joy. “At last!” I thought. “A legitimate excuse for eating and drinking really…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Welcome back to the Great Gross-Off! Those of you who weren’t loyal Jefitoblog readers may not remember this series — Lord knows I’ve let it lie dormant long enough —…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
I think I must be late to the party on this particular Great Gross-Off subject, because it was at least April when I saw it in the grocery store, and…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
I am not a cranky 100-year-old man who constantly complains that things aren’t the way they were in the good old days. Really, I’m not. But sometimes I feel like…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
So. Let’s say it’s time for breakfast, the most important meal of the day, and you’re seriously jonesing for some waffles. Now, if you’re like me, you could want waffles…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
It was the spring of 2001 — May, to be exact — but I remember it like it was yesterday: My good buddy Rahul and I were spending a week…
Jeff Giles
3 Min Read
Greetings, friends, and welcome back from what I hope was a deeply enjoyable, tryptophan-enhanced food coma. As I mentioned previously, the Jefitos celebrate Thanksgetting — it’s the day after Thanksgiving…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
Despite recent appearances to the contrary, the ongoing Gross-Off series has not been abandoned here at jefitoblog; it’s just that between getting caught up on music reviews and changing poopy…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
You know, I’ve never cared much about Halloween. Even as a kid, the candy didn’t excite me as much as it did my friends — I quit dressing up to…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
It’s almost Halloween at our neighborhood Safeway: Veteran Hostess consumers will recognize “Glo Balls” as cleverly transmuted Halloween versions of “Sno Balls,” which, if you aren’t familiar with them, consist…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
Back in February, I mentioned driving past Crazy Buffet, a new restaurant in Sunnyvale. I didn’t have any intention of eating there, really; I just thought it was a funny…
Jeff Giles
3 Min Read
So I’m pouring The Boy’s cereal this morning, and I notice something a little different about this week’s box of Trix: It seems our old friend the Rabbit has decided…
Jeff Giles
3 Min Read
During their Biblical forty years of wandering in the desert, the Jews subsisted on a miracle food that fell from the heavens each night. Described as a grain tasting like…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
This is it, my friends — the end of Week Boy-Ar-Dee: It’s been a bumpy road, to be sure, but an educational one nonetheless. We’ve learned, for instance, that it’s…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
So. We meet again, my fat, toque-headed nemesis: I won’t lie to you Á¢€” yesterday’s Boyarxperiment hurt me, and hurt me bad. Judging from the way my hands were trembling…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
Yes. Fucking Pepperoni Pizzazaroli: You would think “Pepperoni Pizza Ravioli” would be good enough, or even “Pepperoni Pizzaroli,” but no. They had to add another Z in there, to make…
Jeff Giles
1 Min Read
Behold! Isn’t modern technology wonderful? They’ve taken cheesy nacho, combined it with pasta, and put it in a can. Convenience at its best! They’ve even given us an easy-off, no-can-opener-necessary…
Jeff Giles
2 Min Read
I realize it’s been a long time since I did an entry on some new piece of dumb junk food, but our nation’s beloved conglomerates seem to have put a…
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