Jeff: So, Jason. Christmas music. Jason: I feel like however I respond to this is going to be the wrong response, but okay. Yes. Christmas music. Jeff: I’m sitting here…
Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
220 Articles
Two people, separate rooms Trying to hurt the other Bound together by destiny Is there nothing they won’t do? Will we never see them through?
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: You know, the funniest thing happened to me today — and of course, by “funniest,” I mean “most tragic.” Jeff: You got a letter from the government saying Christmas…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: Ah, one day closer to the 25th. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! Soon, we will be free once more from the tyranny of…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Quick, Jeff: tell me your favorite Christmas record of all time. Jeff: Oh, man. If you’d asked me that during the first couple years of Mellowmas, I would have…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: Jason, baby? Jason: I can’t tell if you’re trying to sweet-talk me or you’re singing a version of “Santa Baby.” Either way, I’m skeptical. Jeff: Jason, baby, you know…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: You know what we haven’t had enough of this Mellowmas, Jason? Jason: Silence? Jeff: Yes! And also tough, authentic GRIT. Jason: Uh, I think you’re forgetting about our friends…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Hey Jeff, guess how many songs I have in my holiday collection on iTunes? Jeff: 600,000? Jason: Not quite. I’m up to 2,797. Funny, I thought the number was…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: Hey, you’re still here! Jason: Don’t act surprised. You chained me to the radiator, remember? Black Snake Mellowmas. Jeff: That…that is a mental image I will never be rid…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: Happy whatever day of Mellowmas, Jason! It’s so cold and dark. Jason: I say “whatever” every day of Mellowmas, so that’s apt. It IS cold and dark, isn’t it?…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Hey Jeff! Remember our buddy Fred Figglehorn? Jeff: I’m leaving. You go to hell. Jason: YOU COME BACK HERE. Jeff: YOU DO NOT INVOKE THE NAME OF FRED FIGGLEHORN…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Hey, did you see? Billy Joel is playing Brooklyn on New Year’s Eve! Jeff: Is he playing new material? Because otherwise, I don’t give a shit. Jason: Same old…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Good day, sir! I present a challenge to you. Jeff: I do not accept! Goodbye. Jason: You get back here right now! You know damn well we have approximately…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: Hey, Jason! Guess what today is? Jason: The worst day of the rest of my life? Jeff: Kind of! It’s a very special Mellowmas anniversary. Jason: That can’t be…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Some people may not realize it, but finding Mellowmas music isn’t an easy thing to do. Jeff: On the other hand, it isn’t nearly as hard as it should…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: Well, well, well! Look who’s back for more Mellowmas. Jason: I can’t say no to you, baby. Jeff: As it turns out, ending a sentence with “baby” is oddly…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jeff: HO, HO, HO, JASON! JASON! IT IS MELLOWMAS! Jason: INDEED IT IS, GOOD SIRE! So nice to be with you again! Jeff: Readers, please mark this down: Jason has…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go. It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, et cetera, et cetera. We…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
10 Min Read
On Mellowmas Eve, we pour you a triple shot of holiday mellow gold
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
In which Jason uses a supertalent Michael Jackson double to exact his revenge on Jeff
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Break out the white wine spritzers, because we’re about to get some smooth jazz up in this Mellowmas
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
In which a sunny trip to the islands takes a sad, nonsensical turn
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
In which Jason and Jeff fall into a deep, pillowy-soft Cuneta hole
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
Happy holidays from a former soap star with nothing left to do but rock on
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
In which Carly Rae Jepsen and a plastic Ukranian woman remind us of “The Facts of Life”
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
8 Min Read
Turns out Michael Buble isn’t the only one who can sleepwalk his way through a holiday standard
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Sandals and a robe mean never having to stay in tune
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
Everybody already know it’s Mellowmas, so I’ma tell ’em. Aight?
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Yesterday, we insulted Jon Secada. Today, he will have his revenge