Jason: You know what I love? A press release for an album that includes the word “vomits.” Jeff: Okay, that’s all I needed to hear. See you on December 26!…
Mellowmas
230 Articles
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jeff: So, Jason. Christmas music. Jason: I feel like however I respond to this is going to be the wrong response, but okay. Yes. Christmas music. Jeff: I’m sitting here…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jason: You know, the funniest thing happened to me today — and of course, by “funniest,” I mean “most tragic.” Jeff: You got a letter from the government saying Christmas…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
Jeff: Ah, one day closer to the 25th. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! Soon, we will be free once more from the tyranny of…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
Jason: Quick, Jeff: tell me your favorite Christmas record of all time. Jeff: Oh, man. If you’d asked me that during the first couple years of Mellowmas, I would have…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
Jeff: Jason, baby? Jason: I can’t tell if you’re trying to sweet-talk me or you’re singing a version of “Santa Baby.” Either way, I’m skeptical. Jeff: Jason, baby, you know…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
1 Min Read
Jeff: You know what we haven’t had enough of this Mellowmas, Jason? Jason: Silence? Jeff: Yes! And also tough, authentic GRIT. Jason: Uh, I think you’re forgetting about our friends…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jason: Hey Jeff, guess how many songs I have in my holiday collection on iTunes? Jeff: 600,000? Jason: Not quite. I’m up to 2,797. Funny, I thought the number was…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
Jeff: Hey, you’re still here! Jason: Don’t act surprised. You chained me to the radiator, remember? Black Snake Mellowmas. Jeff: That…that is a mental image I will never be rid…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Jeff: Happy whatever day of Mellowmas, Jason! It’s so cold and dark. Jason: I say “whatever” every day of Mellowmas, so that’s apt. It IS cold and dark, isn’t it?…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
Jason: Hey Jeff! Remember our buddy Fred Figglehorn? Jeff: I’m leaving. You go to hell. Jason: YOU COME BACK HERE. Jeff: YOU DO NOT INVOKE THE NAME OF FRED FIGGLEHORN…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jason: Hey, did you see? Billy Joel is playing Brooklyn on New Year’s Eve! Jeff: Is he playing new material? Because otherwise, I don’t give a shit. Jason: Same old…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jason: Good day, sir! I present a challenge to you. Jeff: I do not accept! Goodbye. Jason: You get back here right now! You know damn well we have approximately…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
Jeff: Hey, Jason! Guess what today is? Jason: The worst day of the rest of my life? Jeff: Kind of! It’s a very special Mellowmas anniversary. Jason: That can’t be…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jason: Some people may not realize it, but finding Mellowmas music isn’t an easy thing to do. Jeff: On the other hand, it isn’t nearly as hard as it should…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
Jeff: Well, well, well! Look who’s back for more Mellowmas. Jason: I can’t say no to you, baby. Jeff: As it turns out, ending a sentence with “baby” is oddly…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jeff: HO, HO, HO, JASON! JASON! IT IS MELLOWMAS! Jason: INDEED IT IS, GOOD SIRE! So nice to be with you again! Jeff: Readers, please mark this down: Jason has…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
10 Min Read
On Mellowmas Eve, we pour you a triple shot of holiday mellow gold
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
In which Jason uses a supertalent Michael Jackson double to exact his revenge on Jeff
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Break out the white wine spritzers, because we’re about to get some smooth jazz up in this Mellowmas
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
In which a sunny trip to the islands takes a sad, nonsensical turn
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
In which Jason and Jeff fall into a deep, pillowy-soft Cuneta hole
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
Happy holidays from a former soap star with nothing left to do but rock on
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
In which Carly Rae Jepsen and a plastic Ukranian woman remind us of “The Facts of Life”
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
8 Min Read
Turns out Michael Buble isn’t the only one who can sleepwalk his way through a holiday standard
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Sandals and a robe mean never having to stay in tune
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
Everybody already know it’s Mellowmas, so I’ma tell ’em. Aight?
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Yesterday, we insulted Jon Secada. Today, he will have his revenge