This song is just so totally Roland
Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
220 Articles
Two people, separate rooms Trying to hurt the other Bound together by destiny Is there nothing they won’t do? Will we never see them through?
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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At last, a Christmas song tells the tree’s side of the story
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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The road to Mellowmas is paved with good intentions
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, or maybe a soup kitchen
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Nothing says “I love you” quite like pickled cabbage
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Not all holiday music compilations are created equal
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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In which Jeff’s selfless efforts to help Jason find a gift for his wife continue to be met with heartless disdain
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
An 11-year-old, a copy of GarageBand, and thee
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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The search for a Christmas gift for Jason’s wife produces a foul hurricane of Mellowmas misery
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
2 Min Read
“I like the part where it speeds up for no apparent reason.”
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
No Mellowmas could be complete without the sound of joybells ringing
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the Mellowmas blows
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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A day of sloppy design, false advertising, and patented headwear
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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In which we marvel at what still passes for “cute” during the holidays
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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It puts the Mellowmas on its skin or it gets Mitchell Stoned again
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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In which bad grammar and Push Face mark their Mellowmas return
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Jane Wiedlin hopes you’ve been naughty this year
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Never was a cloudy day (or an original thought)
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
10 Min Read
Jason: IT’S HERE! Jeff: Go away! Jason: MELLOWMAS MORN! Jeff: I don’t want to do this anymore! Jason: Looks like we maaaaaade it! Jeff: After all the hateful things you…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Jason: Our readers probably are aware that the holiday season starts much earlier for us. Sometimes even earlier than it starts at your local drug store. Jeff: Very true. I…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
5 Min Read
Jeff: Ha ha! YES! It’s December 23rd. I’m virtually trembling with anticipation. Jason: SO CLOSE. SO GODDAMN CLOSE. Jeff: Mellowmas has made me yearn for Christmas like I haven’t since…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jeff: So close, Jason. So close and yet so far. My big bottle of bourbon is almost empty. Jason: As is my juice box. Jeff: I don’t know if I…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
4 Min Read
Jeff: Hey, Jason! Jason: Hey there, Jeff! Man, the air is crisp today! I’m feeling good! Jeff: Oh, I was hoping you’d say that. Jason: This fucking holiday is almost…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Well, Jeff, Christmas is almost here. Jeff: Thank God. Every year, I write “MELLOWMAS IS OVER” on a little piece of paper, I put it in a box, and…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
3 Min Read
Jeff: Oh, goddammit. Jason: What? What happened? Jeff: Nothing, I guess. I just hate shoveling snow. Jason: At least the snow you’re shoveling is white — here in Queens, it’s…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: Jeff! I’m so glad you’re here. I just had the worst dream. Jeff: I’m pretty sure we’re living that dream, but I’ll bite: What happened? Jason: I dreamed that…
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Jeff Giles and Jason Hare
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Jason: You know what I love? A press release for an album that includes the word “vomits.” Jeff: Okay, that’s all I needed to hear. See you on December 26!…